I had been working with my therapist for over a year, meeting nearly every week. Through our sessions, I opened up, shared my struggles, and worked on healing past trauma, even delving into EMDR therapy when traditional talk therapy seemed to reach its limits. The strides I made during this period were profound, and I started to feel a sense of progress that I hadn’t experienced in years.
Then, over the summer, I got the news that changed everything: my therapist was leaving her practice for a new job. This meant that I would need to either find a new therapist or take a break from therapy altogether, as her new position didn’t allow for continued sessions with me. When she told me, I felt a rush of sadness. I don’t trust people easily, and the thought of starting over, especially with the intake process and the initial, vulnerable recounting of my struggles, felt overwhelming.
She offered a list of referrals, some who took insurance and others who didn’t. But even for those who accepted insurance, there was no guarantee my plan would cover it. The logistics of finding a new therapist, combined with my emotional attachment to the progress I had made, left me feeling conflicted. On one hand, I was genuinely happy for her new opportunity; on the other, I felt abandoned and anxious about what to do next.
After some deliberation, I made the choice to pause therapy. I decided to give myself a few months to reflect and reassess how I was feeling before considering a new therapist. The thought of immediately jumping into another therapeutic relationship, with the daunting intake session and rebuilding of trust, was just too much for me. I felt at peace with my decision, recognizing that I now have tools to help me manage my emotions. I’ve learned to listen to my body, to pay attention to where emotional pain manifests physically, and to acknowledge my feelings as they surface instead of pushing them away.
As I processed this transition, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my former therapist. Through our work, I discovered so much about myself, unraveling patterns that explained why I react so strongly to certain situations and uncovering deeply ingrained feelings I hadn’t known existed. Our last session was emotional, and I cried as I wished her the best, hoping that wouldn’t be the last time we connected. It was a moment that symbolized both loss and growth.
I have given myself time away from therapy and would love another session, but I still feel like I am not in the right headspace for an intake visit. I’m at peace with my decision to keep therapy on pause, yet I am mindful that I need to figure out how best to proceed with taking care of my mental health. I miss the routine of our sessions and the safe space they provided, but I’m not yet ready to go through the process of starting over with someone new.
The journey to emotional recovery is never straightforward. It’s full of unexpected changes and moments of uncertainty, but I’m learning that it’s okay to pause, reflect, and take the next step when I’m ready. Listening to myself and honoring where I am right now is the best thing I can do on this path to healing.
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